Emotional manipulation is the worst thing to happen to anyone. But how to overcome it? What are the ways to deal with emotional manipulation? Let’s find out.
Manipulation of any kind is harmful, whether mental or emotional. Most people use emotional manipulation to lie and deceive others. Besides, it is also a very powerful tool to make someone regret things beyond his control.
I had a similar experience in my college years when a guy used to emotionally manipulate me using his impeccable acting skills. Not to mention the fake tears he had in his eyes to melt my heart.
But, as usual, I was naive enough to understand his true motives. All I could see was a person who felt genuine to me. My need to empathize made me even more vulnerable to him and his underlying evil motives.
Since then, I have faced many people who came up with their hidden motives. However, the difference is that I can identify them from far, all thanks to my previous experiences.
Now, you might be wondering, “What did I learn from my past experiences?”
“How I can detect such fake and manipulative people now?”
Well, that is what I am going to discuss here about how I managed to detect these emotional imposters around me.
So, let us discuss what are the ways to deal with emotional manipulation.
How do people emotionally manipulate others?
It is one of the most important questions for many youngsters around the world who do not desire to be emotionally manipulated by anyone. The inherent skepticism prevents them from fully trusting others in their lives.
However, my experience with that guy was not enough to make me skeptical of other people. I had a very big and innocent heart, and I ended up forgiving him, but always watched out for his actions. I noticed how he dealt with most of my classmates.
The thing about emotional manipulators is that they are pretty much confident about their manipulation skills and do not refrain from making things worse for other people. Besides, they do not focus on others well being, making them selfish and self-centered.
It took me a lot of time to deal with him. But, slowly, over time, I was able to resist him effectively. Now, I even know how to deal with such people without even giving them a hint about it.
So, here are 3 basic ways of how people emotionally manipulate someone.
1. By victimizing themselves to a point of pity:
Emotional manipulators are very clever and smart. You should never underestimate their capabilities in influencing people. They are highly aware of the situations and are often very great actors.
Now, this leads us to their most effective weapon. i.e., victim mentality. Emotional manipulators are very good at victimizing themselves to a point where others see them with pity and mercy. Besides, they are very convincing with their words to trap you in their devious ways.
Hence, they victimize themselves to win over other’s feelings.
2. By engaging in unnecessary tasks to deceive you:
Deception is the greatest tool they have to influence people with their actions.
When an emotional manipulator is trying to help you unnecessarily and out of context, it means that he wants you to believe that he is there for you every time you need him.
He does it to win your trust so that he could benefit from your emotional sensitivity. Such people are emotional parasites who feed on your emotional lifeblood.
Hence, they try to engage in unnecessary tasks to deceive you.
3. By saying things that do not match their actions:
Authenticity is an important trait to realize the significance of self.
However, emotional manipulators are oblivious to this concept and do not realize the significance of being truthful and genuine. Moreover, they are true hypocrites who say things that do not match their actions.
Most importantly, these statements do not have any value whatsoever in their emotional lives. They have a different mask for any underlying emotion and adapt to the willingness of others.
Hence, they say something and do something else.
So, here we have discussed the ways how emotional manipulators influence people.
But, “How to overcome it?”
“What are the ways to deal with emotional manipulation?”
Let’s find out.
What are the ways to deal with emotional manipulation?
Until now, we have discussed how emotional manipulators take advantage of others by using some pretty good and deceiving ways. However, no one wants to deal with such persons. It is better to teach them a lesson that they will remember for a long time.
Now, I do not mean violence or something.
But, emotional resilience and a stable personality are a good counterintuitive approach against these cunning manipulators.
So, here are the 7 ways to deal with emotional manipulation.
1. Build a good sense of self:
Knowing yourself better is the best way to deal with emotional manipulations.
But being self-aware doesn’t mean knowing your hobbies and interests. In fact, knowing about what you like or dislike isn’t self-awareness. It is important to remember the sense of self is about who you are and how you carry yourself around the world.
Manipulators have issues dealing with people who have a good sense of self. It acts as a barrier against emotional manipulation. Besides, it is very difficult to influence a person with a good sense of self.
Hence, we should build a good sense of self to deal with emotional manipulation.
2. Observe them and their actions carefully:
Manipulators are very clever in their ways. They know how to turn things in their favor without even regretting for a moment. It takes a lot of effort to emotionally manipulate someone, but not for them.
However, it doesn’t mean that they are not vulnerable to anything. They fear deep observers and thinkers the most. Why? Because they can look through them and find out who they are.
Now, I don’t mean that everyone should be an overthinker. But, if you have a good observation and a fair knowledge about human emotions, you can easily counter his manipulation techniques in your favor. Notice his actions, the way he talks, and how he treats you when they are in bad mood.
Trust me it is a good approach to these manipulators.
3. Notice how he deals with his emotions:
Dealing with emotions is necessary. Everyone goes through tough times and suffer consequences for their actions. It is not rare for people to ruminate about things due to which they suffered the most.
But a person who is trying to deal with his emotions goes through many stages of negative ones. He is likely to be private about it and wouldn’t even tell their best friend about it, let alone others.
Manipulators portray a similar image. However, they say and express everything actively without any kind of persuasion. They are very much vocal about how they feel. A person who is dealing with his emotions will not express so much the first time.
In fact, it almost takes days and weeks to help someone deal with his emotions as he is not open to anyone. Hence, you should notice how the manipulator deals with his emotions.
4. Ask him deep questions about his emotional state:
There is always a weak spot for every perfectionist. No matter how hard he tries, he will always find imperfections in his craft.
Likewise, the manipulator also has an Achilles heel that backfires on him. He isn’t able to handle the deep question about his emotional state. For instance, if you ask him about his state and the way he is feeling about things, he will come up with vague answers that have no relevance to his circumstances.
Moreover, if you ask him too deep about his emotions, he will come up with excuses for not being validated and understood properly. You can quickly spot his lies even when he is trying his best to deceive you.
5. Be more assertive and logical:
Emotions can be a mess. Being an emotional person, I agree that emotions do not always solve your problems. Also, they can be very deceiving sometimes and make you do or say things you do not want to.
In my experience, it is better to be a little more assertive and logical when you are around emotional manipulators. Logic counters the deception of emotions and finds the best way possible to deal with the manipulators. Being assertive intimidates manipulators who prey upon submissive people.
Hence, it is better to be more assertive and logical.
6. Recall your past experiences:
Yes, past experiences.
Recalling past experiences is an important thing. Memory is one of the most reliable things in the world to depend on.
Now, when an emotional manipulator forces you to listen to him, you can remember how someone manipulates others if you have undergone similar experiences. If not, then you can recall someone else who has gone through similar experiences.
This way you can recall past experiences to make things better for you.
7. Lastly, see if he pays attention to your problems or not:
A truly emotional and sensitive person always ends up asking about your feelings and emotions. He desires to know and understand you at a much deeper level so he could empathize with you.
On the other hand, the manipulator is far too interested in overwhelming you with his emotions. He doesn’t desire to know what happened with you or how are you feeling. It will just be an emotionally self-obsessed talk.
Hence, if he is a genuine person he will pay heed to your problems, if not, then he is an emotional manipulator.
To sum up, emotional manipulation is a skill that some people master to fool others. Especially the emotionally sensitive ones. Besides, the way they do it is very convincing and deceiving to most people.
However, you can escape from these effects if you are strong enough to look beyond their facades to see who they are and how they manipulate others and deceive them.