People are curious about others like them. But, is it possible to know someone accurately? Let’s find out.
Humans are complex beings. Our relations are as complicated as the internal wiring of a computer system. Without a doubt, we end up misrepresenting others most of the time.
A year ago, I faced similar circumstances with my friends and family members when it became difficult to address the issues with the relationships.
Now, I am not talking about maintaining a strong bond with people, but sometimes even after so many years of staying together and creating an informal bond, I did not know who I was talking to. In other words, it felt awkward when the people I thought I knew turned out to be very different than they otherwise are.
It raised a question in my mind,
“Do I know the people around me, or am I just creating another hypothesis about their behavioral patterns?”
“Is it possible to know someone accurately?”
These questions led me to write this blog post.
To be honest, I believe we are very ignorant towards most of the personality traits. By personality traits, I do not mean taking tests or assessments to know about yourself. Rather it is a complex process to understand and read oneself by pure observation.
However, through consistent efforts, we can harness the ability to understand people. Besides, the more you understand people, the more you come to terms with the human condition and emotional responses.
So, let’s find out whether is it possible to understand someone accurately.
Why do we misunderstand people (even our loved ones):
We still haven’t addressed the most important question.
“Why do we misunderstand people?”
To understand it, let us dive into the root of the problem. When we begin to know someone or take interest in knowing someone genuinely, we start with the basic questions like interests and hobbies than knowing about their perceptions and opinions.
But, “What is wrong with it?”
Well, it is superficial.
Now, it is true that no one likes to be frank in the very first meeting, let alone expressing perceptions and opinions. However, the problem is we do not rise past the shallow and superficial questions to know the other person most of the time.
Hence, we end up judging a person based on their interests and hobbies.
But, there are other reasons too that affect the way we know a person and make him feel misunderstood.
So, here are 3 reasons why we misunderstand people.
1. We do not seek the true nature of the person:
Let’s face it.
We do not actually want to know the other person. A rough idea is all we desire. Most people have no interest in knowing the true nature of a person.
They just scan the outline of their personality to get vague knowledge about their psychology. Hence, they do not want to read people or understand their emotions.
It leads to misunderstandings which result in frequent fights and quarrels.
2. We do not empathize with the other person:
Empathy is a really good trait that comes in handy when one needs to empathize with the other person. However, it is also a rare trait that needs continuous efforts.
With most people not using empathy in relationships, it becomes difficult to maintain a strong bond as it requires a deep level of empathy and compassion.
Hence, the absence of empathy in relationships can also lead to misunderstandings and complications.
3. We are too quick to judge:
Now, I am sure you must have heard this reason before. It is one of the most common reasons for misunderstanding a person and the only reason for broken relationships and friendships.
It is human nature to perceive some traits about people and quickly structure them or justify them to point out someone’s faults and error in ways resulting in truffles and fights.
In such a case, it is better to not be understood than to be misunderstood.
So, these are the three essential reasons why we misunderstand people a lot. Now, we are going to see how to address these situations. In other words, how to be more accurate when knowing a person.
How to be more accurate when knowing a person?
So, we have come a long way discussing the nature of human understanding and how we apply it to the people we know and love.
Now, we have to take a look at how we can increase our accuracy while knowing a person. In other words, gaining a profound understanding of people and their perceptions and opinions.
So, here are 5 amazing reasons for how to be more accurate when knowing a person.
1. Make him feel comfortable around you:
Knowing a person can be difficult. Besides, you have to take great pain to find out what he thinks and feels most of the time, which doesn’t necessarily provide you a better perspective of his true nature.
However, when you make him feel comfortable around you, your job will be much easier. The more comfortable he is, the more he will reveal himself, and the more he reveals about himself, the better you get to know him.
This is by far the best way to start knowing a person. It can be tricky but worth it.
2. Try to understand his conditions:
It does not directly affect the ability to analyze a person but helps in knowing what to do next. In other words, we get a rough idea about a person when we get to know about his conditions.
Now by conditions, I do not mean his financial or family conditions, rather the circumstances he has been through for most of his life. Every person has a story to tell, and it gets easier when you are the one to listen to it.
Therefore, it is a good way to know a person accurately.
3. Observe his behavior patterns and seek connections:
Every person has behavior patterns that reflect his true nature. But, to understand it, you must observe his behavior and the way he carries himself around other people.
By observing the other person, you open yourself to the basic question of whether he changes his personality in front of different people or not. Besides, it also provides you with insights about his perceived and true personality.
Having separate identities isn’t bad and is one of the characteristic traits of humans. By understanding it, we can seek connections between behaviors and traits.
4. Empathizing with him in his tough times:
As discussed above to be one of the reasons for misunderstanding people, empathy is a great trait that can turn the tides when a relationship falls apart. At some point, everyone goes through a series of troubles, and therefore, needs someone to genuinely care for them.
However, empathy should not be forced as it can come off as fake and manipulative. It is important to be as genuine as possible and understand the pain of the person without expecting anything in return.
Being one of the best traits, it helps us understand and validate a person’s emotional nature.
5. Lastly, do not cross the boundaries of judgments:
As I discussed above, it is better to not be understood than to be misunderstood, which applies here very well. In other words, do not jump to conclusions or judgments without second-guessing yourself.
A person feels threatened the most when someone tries to judge him on the spot without knowing the reality behind it. It leads to irrational decisions and complications that are difficult to address.
Judge a person when you know him completely. Until then, take a step back and perceive him.
To sum up, it is difficult to gain a profound understanding of a person without knowing his most important behavior traits. Besides, it is also a very complex process as personality changes with time.
Nevertheless, once we get a hold of things to make sense of situations, we can fix our broken relationships that suffered from the lack of pure understanding.