We are often the victims of envy and jealousy. But how to overcome the feelings of envy? Let’s find out.
A few days back, while working with a friend over a project, I noticed the technical problems in it, which prevented the progress. Of course, it was a small-scale project with a little investment.
My friend here was working on technical problems day and night. On the other hand, my job was to provide ample monetary resources to get it working in a few days.
We were looking forward to promoting it if it garnered a variety of customers who would like to use it in day to day lives. But sadly, the technical issues were too much to handle, and soon we needed help.
My friend called a person who was well-versed with the technical aspects. He resolved the technical issues in no time, while it took nearly 2 hours for my friend to detect the problem itself.
However, due to my keen interest in noticing people’s reactions, I could easily spot the feelings of jealousy and envy in my friend that made him feel dissatisfied and inadequate concerning the development of the project. In other words, he was concerned about whether he could make it or not.
Often, people are jealous over reasons that are irrelevant or do not exist. In this case, my friend was comparing himself to a tech-savvy who was nearly 1.5 times our age, which was irrelevant itself.
Now, it isn’t a good thing, right.
So, “How to overcome the feelings of envy?”
“How to tackle envy effectively?”
Let’s find out.
What causes feelings of envy?
To know how to tackle the feelings of envy, we must first find out the causes of the feelings of envy. It is important to know whether envy influences our lives positively or negatively.
First, envy is the driving force behind many negative emotions, such as feelings of inadequacy, emptiness, and incapability. Besides, it also adds anger and dissatisfaction concerning one’s lifestyle.
For instance, we can be jealous or envious of many things, such as a car, a bungalow, or even a simple toy. Things can be very complicated when you have everything with you but still desire for more that you do not require.
(Now, before we dive into its effects on life, we must remember that it is an emotion that can make you selfish and greedy concerning other’s benefits. Hence, it is better to stop it as soon as it reaches a destructive cause.)
“Is it all about experiencing inadequacy and dissatisfaction, or there is something else we need to know when dealing with it?”
Fine, so let’s take a look at the need for envy in our lives.
What is the need for envy in our lives?
Envy is one of the negative emotions. But, negative emotions aren’t bad. They are simply emotions that influence our lives differently.
Likewise, envy has a huge role to play in our lives.
So, “How is it useful to us?”
Well, to start with, it helps us find out what we lack as a quality or skill in ourselves, and that can be anything. In the case of my friend I mentioned before, it was the inexperience concerning technical matters.
Moreover, it also guides us to find ways to fulfill our feelings of inadequacy, so we don’t remain satisfied for long. Our purpose is to learn, and envy helps us in learning many things that we wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
However, things can turn bad when you are comparing yourself with someone by neglecting the core qualities you possess. For this reason, it is better to be aware of what you have and whatnot.
Envy also enhances our will power, if used in the right way, and makes us self-dependent.
Now, after discussing all these things, let us find out ways to overcome the feelings of envy.
How to overcome the feelings of envy?
We have come a long way discussing the feelings of envy and jealousy and their roles in influencing our lives. Besides, we also came across many benefits of envy that can help in the process of self-development.
Now, let us discuss how to overcome the feelings of envy without sabotaging our true self.
Here are 8 powerful ways to overcome the feelings of envy.
1. Find out what makes the other person better in your eyes:
Well, we can achieve self-development in many ways. However, it doesn’t mean that you compare yourself with everyone in the room. You don’t even have to go ahead to look for things that can you better. Just try to focus on why the other person seems better to you.
Often, we are too observant of other’s qualities than our own. So, it is better to look for the traits that make him perfect in your eyes. Then, find out what you can learn from it and apply it to your life as well. Not the traits, but the way the other person brings those traits to life.
Therefore, it is better to notice and observe the person you are envious of to focus on the application of his best traits.
2. Learn from your past experiences:
You might be wondering what does this has to do with the whole envy thing. Well, turns out that past experiences provide you with so much than you are aware of.
Starting with past experiences, it is good to reflect or recollect the memories of such situations where you achieved great things in life that you remember to date.
Now, you do not have to go all the way to your past and get stuck with it. Just recall all the success-driven things you did that made you feel productive and happy about yourself.
Hence, whenever you see the person you are envious of, remember these experiences and motivate yourself to do better in many different ways.
3. Be authentic:
One of the biggest setbacks in modern society is to be authentic to yourself. With so many fake and manipulative things around, it is difficult to focus on authenticity. Moreover, authenticity doesn’t acknowledge changing for the other person.
But, when you start comparing yourself with others, it becomes difficult to realize who you are. It is where authenticity comes into action. It helps you dive deep into your personality to look for things that can make you stand out instead of following the herd.
Authenticity is a trait many successful people have and is the driving force towards uniqueness and originality. Carve out your own path and achieve success despite seeking it alone.
4. Stop procrastinating and take action:
It doesn’t seem an important one but procrastination is not good when you are envious of others, especially for the ones who are very lazy and sluggish. Procrastination is the root of all evil that exists irrespective of your talents and skills.
However, it also affects the way we feel about things that are out of our control. Envy is one such case where you have no control over how jealous you are towards the other person. The more you think about him, the more jealous you feel.
So, it is necessary to get into action and work towards productively establishing yourself as a successful figure. Now, if you do not work on yourself, chances are you will feel inadequate, which increases the likelihood of envious feelings.
5. Focus on your strong traits:
Good traits are important to develop a healthy individuality. These traits increase our self-esteem and image, and we feel more confident every day of our lives.
But, feelings of envy drive everything away when you stop looking at the places where your talents lie and follow others to inherit theirs. It not only affects your sense of self but also makes you no less than an imposter.
Everyone has some talents and skills in them. You have to find out which areas you are good at and where can you contribute your best. Stop running behind things that the other person likes and start looking for the ones you are interested in.
Learning from others is good but do not forget your strengths in this process.
6. Be grateful and surround yourself with positive people:
Gratitude is the best trait you can ever have and helps in practicing positive self-talk. No matter how poor or neglected you are, if your satisfied with what you have, you can live your life with the utmost happiness.
Besides, gratitude is the exact opposite of envy. Hence, it is an effective tool to deal with our envious nature and keep it under control. At the same time, it is also important to surround yourself with people who could help you to be grateful in life.
Our hunger to achieve things benefits us, but it can also sabotage our lives with the pursuit of an illusionary appetite for success. Therefore, gratitude is important in our lives.
7. Stop chasing a ‘jack-of-all-trades’ attitude:
The present generation is highly obsessed with the jack of all trades attitude that brings nothing but comparison, competition, and dissatisfaction concerning our lives.
It seems as if the whole world is just trying to have it all to make themselves better. This never-ending desire to be perfect in everything never ends, and we are left with no good skill to rely upon.
Therefore, it is important to remember that the jack-of-all-trades is a master of none, which is a good thing as we can attain perfection in only some things important to us.
8. Lastly, do not concern yourself with others’ success:
I have mentioned this in the last because this is the root of all problems. The only thing that stops us from fully embracing ourselves is others’ success. We are too concerned about what others are doing, how they are doing, and what they have achieved than focusing on what we should do.
It is better to have a live and let live attitude and stop caring about what others have. Instead, celebrate their successful moments and cherish them with love and support. It can be difficult in the beginning, but slowly over time, you will be able to come out of this envious loop.
Hence, do not concern yourself with others’ success and embrace their joyful moments with them.
To sum up, feelings of envy and jealously can be a menace and might lead us to sabotage our lives. Moreover, these negative feelings also affect the way we see ourselves in front of others.
Nevertheless, the above-mentioned ways are powerful enough to overcome these feelings of envy and embark on happiness and self-acceptance.