Gaslighting and mental abuse have been increasing a lot recently. So, here are 7 ways to deal with gaslighting and mental abuse. Let’s dive in.
Abuse, torcher, and manipulation are some of the most common reasons for strained relationships. Be it a friend, sibling, or any stranger for that matter, everyone suffers from the negative side of the relationship.
In fact, it isn’t easy for anyone to understand others without having a good judge of character in the current situation. But for the sake of friendships and platonic relationships, it seems impossible to doubt the person we trust the most. This is where problems arise.
Sometimes we are so in tune with the close ones that we ignore the red flags that were apparent to us all along, only to discover them later. It is where things get ugly as they show their true colors without any regrets.
Gaslighting and mental abuse are two of the psychological weapons that these people use on the meek, innocent, and empathetic ones. It becomes easier for them to abuse the already submissive and emotional people.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that is aimed at questioning people’s sanity, perception of reality or circumstances, memories, or intelligence. It makes people confused, anxious, and depressed.
So, “What are the ways people use gaslighting and mental abuse?”
and, “What are the 7 ways to deal with gaslighting and mental abuse?”
Let’s find out.
How do gaslighters mentally abuse others?
Let’s talk in detail about gaslighters and their inclination towards psychological abuse. First, gaslighters are similar to imposters. They hide behind their charming demeanor as it is easy for them to interact with people that way.
They are very aware of mental and emotional cues and know how to get others’ attention as easily as possible. Besides, they are also quite outspoken, which makes them very approachable to people. All in all, they seem to be a stereotypically attractive personality to have around. However, this is all a facade.
It is difficult to identify them as they hold on to their normal demeanor and do not show how deep down are indifferent towards us. To them, we are just someone whom they can convince of thinking of ourselves in a negative light.
Gaslighters do not refrain from using covert ways to get what they want. They are so impeccable and perfectionist at their game that it is nearly impossible to do anything once the damage has been done. They seek mentally fickle people and hunt them to death.
So, here are 3 prime ways how gaslighters psychologically abuse others.
1. They neglect our emotional and mental well-being:
Granted, not everyone is responsible for our emotional and mental health. But gaslighters take this indifference to a whole new level, where they try to subjugate our problems with theirs to show them as worse and serious.
When a person suffers from self-doubt and guilt, he needs assurance. Gaslighters take advantage of this and try to kill their spirits by judging them at their worst times.
It’s better to stay away from such people as much as possible. Self conservation should be our priority.
2. They blame us for our actions and criticize us more often:
This is common for all abusers, narcissists as well as gaslighters. We can say it’s a hallmark of toxicity among people. Criticizing, blaming, and accusing others of their wrong judgments is a trait shared by all gaslighters.
They love the concept of blame game to a fault, where they use various psychological tricks to make us regret our own judgments in life. Even the judgments related to personal matters are not hidden from them.
Gaslighters easily get away with their behavior due to their cleverness. We shall discuss this in detail in the next section.
3. They make us self-critical and self-sabotaging:
We saw a glimpse of it in the previous point. Here we shall discuss it in detail. Gaslighters are smart manipulators and make us identify with our worst possible traits. They never admire or praise us for our gifts or strengths.
Constantly undermining our intelligence, analysis, and perception to make way for their own deception and lies show a great deal of self-centered approach they take in life. They treat many people in the same manner.
If not monitored, it can even lead to excessive self-hatred and suicidal tendencies. Therefore, we must practice self-compassion as frequently as possible.
So, here are 3 ways how gaslighters emotionally abuse us.
Now, let’s discuss 7 ways to deal with gaslighting and emotional abuse in the next section.
What are the ways to deal with gaslighting and emotional abuse?
If gaslighting is so bad for our psyche, then it’s better to deal with it as early as possible, right? In fact, there are many good hacks to prevent ourselves from tripping into the web weaved by gaslighters.
But before discussing the solution to the problem, we must understand its nature. Why are gaslighters able to influence and overwhelm us in the first place? Maybe the answer is apparent to us.
We give them the right to play with our minds, influence our reality, and wrong us every time we try to do something out of our own sanity. Later it becomes an obligation to listen to these gaslighters and we fall into the never-ending loop of angst and hatred.
Gaslighters are aware of our insecurities, weaknesses, and deep-seated doubts for certain elements in our lives. We give them the key to unlocking the self-critical aspect of our personality, and they don’t give a second thought before playing with it.
So, here are 7 ways to deal with gaslighting and mental abuse.
1. Notice every detail about their behavior:
It might not be easy to identify a gaslighter, especially when they are so good at influencing our thoughts. They have many traits that make them complex and mysterious. Most people are naturally curious about them even if they don’t wish to.
So, here is the number one solution to our problem. Behavior is a good indicator of their intentions. The first thing we must do is monitor and observe them. Look for the cues in their behavior. The way they talk, the way they interact, everything should be noticed.
Gaslighters might be cunning enough to fool others with their adaptable nature. However, they can’t hide their true colors once we are aware of their behavioral tendencies.
Also read: Is It Possible To Know Someone Accurately?
2. Be assertive about your choices and opinions:
Assertiveness is an important asset in our struggles against gaslighters. Sometimes, our emotions take the best of us, and we easily fall into the psychological games of these deceivers. However, being assertive prevents that from happening.
Also, being firm with our opinions and choices helps in tackling the manipulative shots these gaslighters pull towards us. Needless to say, our opinions represent our own perception of reality, which goes against theirs.
Hence, assertiveness concerning our choices and opinions is one of the best ways to deal with gaslighting and mental abuse.
3. Reflect on your experiences and trust your intuition:
Memory has always been a reliable source of reflection and accumulation of past experiences. When it comes to utilizing our memory, we can benefit a lot by recalling facts and data from tried and tested methods.
In other words, it is very important to reflect on our experiences as they serve a purpose of self-awareness. Without them, it is easy to manipulate us. Besides, intuition acts as a pathfinder and prevents us from being manipulated by anyone.
Past experiences have a lot to offer to our well-being along with gut feelings. Both help us identify ourselves in the battle against gaslighting and mental abuse.
Also read: Cognitive Reflection And Intuition: The Truth About Intuitive Process
4. Stop looking for validation from gaslighters:
I have always believed that the ones who look for validation and acceptance are the most vulnerable victims to manipulation and psychological games. Looking for someone to validate our feelings or emotions makes us seem weak and incapable of dealing with ourselves.
Gaslighters utilize this opportunity to get into our heads by directly dismissing the way we feel or believe. They don’t respect our feelings or values and deem them as worthless and insignificant even though they aren’t.
Therefore, it is better to stop looking for validation from gaslighters and pull out the strength required to stand up for ourselves.
5. Avoid having long conversations with them:
Conversations can be really engaging once it gets to the shared perception of each other. For instance, when people have the same outlook on things, they are more likely to engage in meaningful conversations.
However, if our outlook is different, we try to understand each other’s perceptions and learn from them. In the case of gaslighting, both the former and latter don’t work as gaslighting is all about inhibiting the other person from having a perception at all. It’s just a one-sided dominance by gaslighters.
Therefore, it is better to not have long conversations with such people. Avoid expressing anything as much as possible, and keep no options open to them.
6. Gather support from friends or close ones:
It might be unbelievable but trust me, gaslighters are smart. We can come up with many facts, statements, and data, and yet they will find some way to counteract your point. In such cases, gathering support from friends and close ones is the best option.
Gaslighters might neglect facts and evidence but they cannot silence a group of people voicing their opinions together. They know they can’t deal with everyone in the room and would be forced to accept what other people have to say.
All in all, the odds will be against the gaslighter and he has to accept the fault in his ways, which is humiliating depending on the situation.
7. Lastly, stay calm and collected:
“How is this a worthy solution to a problem such as gaslighting?”
Well, let’s just say it is the best way to deal with gaslighters and their manipulation tactics. We are aware of their ways and how they try to convince us into believing them. They instigate us to argue with them so they can take advantage of our emotional instability.
Therefore, the best remedy is to stay calm and collected even when the gaslighter is trying his best to overwhelm us. In this way, we fail all his attempts to get a rise out of us. He will be surprised and annoyed to see us in a tranquil state.
This is one of the best ways to deal with gaslighting and manipulation. Staying calm and collected is a solution to deal with gaslighters and manipulators.
To sum up, dealing with gaslighting and emotional abuse isn’t easy, and one has to be cautious enough to look out for red flags. These gaslighters must be exposed for their despicable ways of manipulating people.
Nevertheless, the above 7 ways to deal with gaslighting and mental abuse are useful to stop ourselves from becoming a scapegoat for cheap tricks.