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How To Handle Stubborn And Aggressive Children?

Children can be very adamant and stubborn sometimes. But how to handle stubborn and aggressive children? What are the steps you should take? Let’s find out. 

Children are like the stars of the universe with a charm and innocence of their own. Nothing in this world surpasses the immense curiosity and seeking attitude of children.

Most parents know the benefits of having children that are quiet, shy, and obedient in their behavior. In other words, they do not need much care and attention as it is easy to deal with them due to their submissiveness.

But, not all children are good listeners. Some have a really hard time even trying to listen to their parents. The truth is they don’t want to. Hence they are a little stubborn and adamant with their behavior.

But things get messy when they are also stubborn as well as aggressive. Such children are not the cup of tea for impatient parents. They need special treatment compared to other kids and might also require creative ways to deal with them.

So, “Is it possible to deal with stubborn and aggressive children?”

Children who are stubborn and aggressive do not want to be limited in their explorative tendencies. That also means curbing them to do anything according to their desires may lead to violent and chaotic behavior resulting in constant irritation and bad habits.

Hence, it is important to find out ways to deal with such children.

So, “How to handle stubborn and aggressive children?”

Well, before that, let’s find out why children are aggressive and stubborn. Are they born as this or do circumstances force them to be in such a way?


Why are some children stubborn and aggressive?

Children are becoming increasingly complex to understand. They aren’t the same as they used to be almost a generation ago. Similarly, their traits are eccentric and confusing to parents today.

However, it doesn’t mean that children are born stubborn or aggressive. There are certain elements in our surroundings or society and even at home which make the child in such away.

A girl showing the reasons why children are stubborn and aggressive.
Photo by Arno Senoner on Unsplash

Stubbornness and aggression increases in children with a hostile and non-child friendly environment. It instills anger and frustration in an already tormented and troubled child and makes him very uncompromising and adamant.

So, “Why are some children stubborn and aggressive?”

Let’s find out.


1. They are frustrated with obligations placed on them:

Obligations are difficult to deal with. Mostly, children have to oblige to a certain set of rules built by their parents as a security measure. If they violate them, they are scolded for their behavior.

It certainly leads to frustration and anger as the child feels caged in with nothing to seek around. They experience irritation and sadness due to this and develop a hatred for structures.

Hence, they are stubborn and aggressive due to their frustration with obligations placed on them.


2. They face a lot of punishments for insignificant mistakes:

Children who have strict parents have a lot of difficulties in adapting to their expectations. They have to be careful with a lot of things as they are too afraid to annoy their parents.

However, when they are consistently punished for insignificant mistakes, it develops a rigidness and fearlessness in them in the long run. They are no longer afraid to confront their parents and sometimes do so violently.

Therefore, they are stubborn and aggressive because of the punishments they undergo for insignificant mistakes.


3. They observe their parents’ behavior towards each other:

Parents are the only people who can inspire their children to be better or spoil them for worse. If parents are unable to handle themselves and their differences in front of their children, they are making them adamant and stubborn.

On the other hand, children learn to behave the way their parents do and try to mimic them. They think it is the right way to deal with people, and there is nothing wrong with it.

Hence, children are stubborn and aggressive because of their parent’s behavior towards each other.

So, we have discussed 3 important reasons why children behave in such away.

But, “How to handle stubborn and aggressive children?”

Let’s find out about that in the next section.


How to handle stubborn and aggressive children?

It is easier to find out the reasons behind a problem and difficult to find out the solutions behind it. Similarly, we often know the reason for children being stubborn and aggressive. However, we do not know how to deal with them.

For instance, a child can be very obedient in front of parents but very stubborn or adamant in front of other children. He might quarrel with them frequently and would engage in ugly arguments too.

A shouting girl forcing us to use ways to handle stubborn and aggressive children.
Photo from pexels

The best way to handle stubborn and aggressive children is by dealing with tack and cleverness. By using creative and convincing solutions, you can make him listen to you and follow your guidance without giving in to tantrums.

So, “How to handle stubborn and aggressive children?”

Well, here are 7 creative and clever ways to deal with them.


1. Stay calm and try to understand your kid’s behavior:

It is important to maintain your peace of mind and control your anger and frustration when dealing with stubborn and aggressive children. Staying calm and focusing on things at hand is a good tool to deal with children.

Moreover, it is equally significant to understand your kid’s behavior and how he reacts to different stimuli. This can help you find new information on what makes him tick and what not.

Therefore, stay calm and try to understand your kid’s behavior to deal with his stubbornness and aggression.


2. Do not give in to his bad demands right away:

Stubborn and aggressive children can be very demanding and uncompromising with their behavior. They usually have some bad demands and desires that are harmful to them in the long run.

These tendencies spoil the child and make him even more stubborn about more things. Some stubborn children are also envious of others and might highlight their need for things they don’t have.

Hence, it is important to not give in to his bad demands and desires to deal with this stubbornness and aggression.


3. Be a little empathetic and emotional with them:

As discussed before, children mimic their parents concerning attitude and behavior. However, they are also vulnerable to their negative traits and often incorporate them into their lives.

It is important to understand the factors behind his stubbornness and aggression. The first step is to empathize with him and try to reason out with him. The second step is to be a little emotional towards them and teach them how they can pacify themselves.

Therefore, it is vital to be a little empathetic and emotional to deal with his stubbornness and aggression.


4. Tell him sternly when he is wrong:

Children might not understand when they are at fault with their behavior. It is the duty of parents to help their children realize the implications of their bad behavior.

Now, it is equally important to be serious and tell them when they are doing wrong. Even if children try to convince us with their sensitive and emotional nature, we have to be strict with them.

Hence, to deal with a stubborn and aggressive child it is important to tell him sternly when he is wrong.


5. Try to convince your children with possibilities:

Stubborn children are hard to convince, especially if they are aware of your ways to deal with them. Hence, it is important to try out different solutions by convincing them of possibilities.

In other words, tell him what he could do better without being stubborn. If he demands a toy, then tell him what productive things he can do apart from playing with toys.

Therefore, to deal with them it is better to convince your children of possibilities for better and productive solutions.


6. Don’t be violent towards them:

Violence is a solution to none of your problems. The better you understand this, the better you can know how to deal with them. In other words, spare the rod and spoil thy child doesn’t go with them.

Violence is what leads to aggression in children. They learn it as a counterintuitive approach to assertiveness and dominance. Under such circumstances, it becomes very difficult to control children.

Hence, if you want to handle them then don’t be violent towards their bad behavior.


7. Lastly, don’t be stubborn in front of children:

If you are stubborn in front of children, they will observe you and be stubborn themselves. Remember, they follow whatever you do whether you teach them or not.

Likewise, the more stubborn and aggressive you are, the more angry and stubborn he will be in the later stages of life. Don’t be too adamant in front of children. Instead, be more diplomatic with them.

Therefore, don’t be too stubborn with children if you want to deal with their stubbornness and aggression.


Final Words:

To sum up, stubbornness and aggression in children is a learned trait. They observe how they can get their way out of the situation. If they find being stubborn the only way, they will eventually be the same.

However, with the above ways, you can deal with their stubbornness and aggression without experiencing hiccups in this process.

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