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How To Effectively Overcome The Fear Of Abandonment?

Fear of abandonment is one of the most common life issues. But how to effectively overcome the fear of abandonment? Let’s find out.

A man hiding representing the fear of abandonment
Photo by Tobias Bjørkli from Pexels

Life has many twists and turns that teach us many important lessons in life. The irony is that even after learning so much about the inevitable reality, we are still stuck in our heads dreaming of a bright future.

There is no harm in assuming the best for the future. In most cases, it is good to think of life ahead of time. However, certain things may or may not suffice in the long run.

For instance, relationships are very fragile and do not necessarily last long. Now, if you are in a society where it is seen as a weakness to be emotional and sensitive, it can lead to serious consequences.

One of these consequences is the fear of abandonment. It doesn’t seem a very bad issue if you haven’t faced it, but those who have might not even know how to deal with it. After all, no one considers it a serious issue.

I know it as one of my cousins was suffering from it for a long time, and the effects were unbelievable. The desperation and sadness combined with loneliness made her too insecure to move out of relationships.

She also had a pretty demanding and mean behavior, which was nothing but her insecurity calling out loud. I would say she had a very unhealthy obsession with controlling things around her. To a certain extent, she was even beginning to control me for a while.

So, “why do people suffer from fear of abandonment?”

“How is it going to affect them mentally and emotionally?”

Also, “How to effectively overcome the fear of abandonment?”

Let’s find out.


Why do people suffer from fear of abandonment, and how it affects them:

Exactly. That is the focus of this section.

“What are the reasons behind the fear of abandonment?”

Normally, it is difficult to consider the possible reasons behind it. However, the most common ones are childhood traumatic experiences and abuse that leads to fear of abandonment. Also, the avoidant behavior of some parents can lead to it.

A highly scared and insecure woman
Photo by Eternal Happiness from Pexels

To sum up, when some individuals feel left out or dejected, they suffer from a fear or insecurity that manifests itself as the fear of abandonment. In this case, the person doesn’t want to be left alone but supported, cared for, and looked after.

But, the fear of abandonment strikes hard on the individuals that are too emotionally weak to handle themselves even when their loved ones are around them.

In some instances, it becomes very unhealthy, and the person with this fear comes off as an obsessive freak trying to curb your freedom and independence. His fear makes him manipulative, compulsive, and toxic to your mentality.

But, “How can we effectively tackle this situation?”

In other words, “How to effectively overcome the fear of abandonment?”

Let’s find out about that in the next section.


How to overcome the fear of abandonment?

Every condition has a coping strategy that helps us in overcoming it. Likewise, there are some pretty effective ways to overcome the fear of abandonment that can easily make such people more confident and assertive.

Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

So, let’s take a look at these ways of handling the fear of abandonment.

Here are 7 proven ways to effectively overcome the fear of abandonment.


1. Know your self-worth and love yourself:

Ok, so this is the most important way to overcome the abandonment issues. 

Most people suffering from the fear of abandonment suffer from self-hatred and neglect, which results in serious consequences. By not accepting themselves and their dwindling self-worth, they try to seek affirmations, outside among others.

It is very much important for them to recognize their self-worth and focus on understanding themselves to get an idea about how interesting they are and why they don’t always need others’ support.


2. Find out ways to engage with your individuality:

Often, people with the fear of abandonment do not know how to deal with individuality. It is one of the most important traits for healthy self-development. Besides, the more individualistic you are, the more comfortable you will be with solidarity.

Now, that doesn’t mean you should abandon people from your life as it is not going to help anyway, but it is better to be more at peace with one’s inner self, so you don’t have to become a sloppy mess of depressed guy ruminating inside four walls.


3. Stop depending on others for emotional support:

This one is obvious.

It is futile to depend on people when you are suffering from fear of abandonment. Besides, it also leads to manipulative and compulsive behavior, which is ultimately going to negatively affect your friends and loved ones.

Hence, you must stop depending on others for validation and emotional support. It would be difficult to do so, but totally worth it if you want to overcome the fear of abandonment.


4. Practice positive self-talk and self-compassion frequently:

One of the reasons people with abandonment issues suffer a lot is the absence of self-compassion and not engaging in positive self-talk. By being more compassionate and loving towards self, you can establish harmony and peace within oneself.

Therefore, it is necessary to practice positive self-talk as well as self-compassion frequently to prevent yourself from wallowing in depression and sadness.


5. Be positive concerning tough situations:

The fear of abandonment instills a lot of self-doubt and confusion concerning one’s ability to handle tough situations. Moreover, it becomes necessary to consider many possibilities that could affect the grand scheme of things.

However, due to self-doubt and confusion, it becomes very difficult to find a clear path to living a stress-free life. The result is that the fear takes over to make the person contemplate the negative and polar views.

Hence, it is necessary to be positive in tough situations and find something inspiring and motivating to tackle your insecurities.


6. Try to get out of your past:

Your past may reflect on you badly with awful incidences of trauma and abuse leading to a lack of trust and reliability. You might also feel very lonely and dejected on recalling the past incidents.

However, staying in this past for long can be very unhealthy and negatively affects emotional development. As a result, you become very clingy and insecure to leave the people you know and love.

Therefore, try to be more present-focused and stop dwelling in the past. Embrace the here and now and try to form new connections.


7. Find someone who genuinely cares for you:

Last but not the least, find someone who genuinely cares for you.

You might have many friends and loved ones who might love and care for you but that is not what you desire. You need genuine and unconditional love and support from the people who are ready to stand beside you in every situation no matter the circumstances.

Therefore, we should find someone who genuinely cares for us instead of establishing superficial relations.

4 insights about the understanding of the human condition.

Final Words:

To sum up, the fear of abandonment is a serious condition where a person crosses the limits of insecurities, fears, and obsessions. Moreover, past incidents continue to haunt him now and then.

Nevertheless, the above-mentioned ways can be used to overcome the abandonment issues and live a fearless and stress-free life.

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