6 Ways to Identify the Red Flags in Relationships

Relationships are bliss when healthy and a learning experience when unhealthy. But we must also beware of some hidden signs that we usually ignore. So, here are 6 ways to identify the red flags in relationships. Let’s dive in.

“I want my partner to be mature, respectful, and most of all understanding towards me. My only desire is to find a perfect partner with whom I can be my true self without any qualms.”

– Every loving person

Yeah, one of the best examples of how we often think when we want to get into a relationship. We judge people according to our desires and expectations to find a perfect partner for ourselves.

Besides, most people know we can’t be settled with one person for life. People walk into our lives, influence us, provide us with valuable experience, and then walk out. Nothing new but certainly something to notice.

However, relationships are tricky, and things can get pretty messed up if we aren’t careful. For instance, what appears to be a good trait in people might just be a mask put by them to deceive others like you.

It’s not easy to identify them since they are pretty good actors and find their way out of any situation. The most you can do is beware of them and stay away as much as possible.

But the question is, “What if one isn’t a good reader of people? What if he misunderstands something for the sake of a non-judgmental attitude?” The person can end up in big trouble and might also experience abuse and torture in relationships.

So, let’s find out what to consider before approaching a relationship and identify the red flags in the relationship as soon as possible.

What should we consider before approaching a relationship?

A wise man once said, “It’s better to approach someone’s personality before a relationship.“ Well, it’s true. Personality is the best way to understand the prospect of a potential relationship.

Now, I know that relationships can be tricky at times. Couples don’t know many things about each other even after spending a significant amount of time. It leads to unnecessary awkwardness and misunderstandings.

Of all the people I know who are in relationships, many have had bad experiences than good ones. They take it as a lesson but guide others on how to deal with such experiences beforehand.

“I had a pretty good time with her at the beginning of the relationship. I never had any complaints until she started being arrogant and mean for some reason. To be honest, I thought she was just playing with me. But things started to get ugly and I realized breaking up was my only choice.”

– One of my friends

So, here are some things we should consider before approaching a relationship.

1. Never give in to the pressure of entering into a relationship:

It might sound like a warning but never try to enter into a relationship if you don’t want to. Many people suffer from unhealthy relationships that are formed against the will of the individual.

The reason? They compare themselves with other people who have a good time cherishing those moments. While others just force you to do so as they think it would be the best for you.

If someone is pressurizing you, or manipulating you, don’t give in to the pressure. Have a relationship only when you are ready.

2. Don’t lie to get away with unwanted commitments:

Relationships require commitment. Being faithful and understanding is the key to forming a healthy relationship. However, people often lie about themselves even when they don’t have to. They lie to get away with commitments.

If you don’t want to be in a relationship, then leave it. Break up and find someone or something else to do. But don’t break someone’s heart by lying and deceiving using false promises and propositions.

It’s better to be serious about committing to a partner as it says a lot about your nature and character too.

3. Stand for yourself when necessary:

It’s important to understand that self-respect is, in the end, the only thing you must never compromise. People become selfless and devote a lot of time to fulfilling others’ desires. But sometimes, they push themselves too hard.

Self-respect is a precious jewel one has to wear every time. Every self-respecting individual stands for himself when necessary. For instance, self-respect is important for fighting against abuse and torture in relationships.

Hence, it’s better to stand up for yourself when cornered cornered, or held against the wall.

So, we have discussed the things we should know about relationships. Now, let’s discuss the ways to identify the red flags in relationships.

How to identify red flags in relationships?

As usual, relationships come with a host of problems. The main problem is unpredictability. However, relationships revolve around unreasonable expectations today. Nobody cares about the old standards in relationships that were prevalent nearly a decade ago.

But that doesn’t mean we should give up on our ethics. They play a significant role in relationships. Besides, we always desire a partner who is ethical enough to treat us with respect.

Ultimately, it is better to end up with someone who would consider you a human before your physical traits. Sadly, you won’t find these people easily. They are too rare to come across.

“A relationship stands along the boundaries of trust and betrayal. When either becomes dominant, the relationship turns unhealthy. As a result, only the person who suffers it realizes self-worth, while the other one doesn’t”

– People experiencing red flags

Now, here are 7 sure ways to identify the red flags in a relationship.

1. Pay attention to their behavioural tendencies:

People are judged according to the way they present themselves. No matter how hard they try, they can never fake their true selves. That is why it is important to notice their behaviour to understand them.

For instance, when you talk to a person with whom you are in a relationship, try to focus on the way they answer your queries. Do they give vague or incomplete responses or evade the query altogether? Doing either is a sign of a person who keeps too many secrets.

This clearly shows that the person has an unhealthy habit of disregarding important aspects of a relationship, which is a red flag.

2. Find out how they deal with negativity around them:

Some situations can be very overwhelming and stressful. Often, these situations can create a lot of negativity in our minds. However, what matters is how we deal with these situations.

For instance, a financial crisis imparts a lot of negativity to a person. The will to earn money to deal with the crisis makes us desperate and miserable. It is when we are at our weakest mental state.

What people have to do is notice how their partners act in such situations. Do they blame everyone around them for their misery or take responsibility for their condition? If it’s the latter, there is no need to worry. Otherwise, it’s a red flag.

3. Observe if he is manipulative or controlling:

It is one of the most common ways to identify the red flags in relationships. Nobody wants to be anywhere near a controlling and manipulative person. They are more likely to abuse us in the long run.

Such people are covert abusers and get their pleasure out of manipulating people to fulfill their selfish motives. On the other hand, the ones who are sensible and confident don’t go around controlling or manipulating others.

It is safer to identify whether your partner is a manipulator or not. The best way to look at it is to identify their insecurities.

4. Beware of their unreasonable expectations:

Normally, some people have high expectations from their partners. There is nothing wrong with that, as people have their own opinions on relationships. However, watch out for people who have unreasonable expectations.

Yeah, unreasonable expectations do not represent a person’s confidence or self-esteem. It represents a hypocrite with a narrow mindset. Such people will never be satisfied with what we have to bring in relationships.

Hence, it is better to break up with them when they try to force their expectations on you. It is a sure red flag in a relationship.

5. Be careful if they spend too much time with you:

Spending quality time with our partners is a healthy thing. No relationship can stand the test of time without the two partners being honest with each other. Also, they prefer each other’s company.

But what we need to notice is whether our partner is not spending but wasting their time with us. Bonding over a limited time is good but it doesn’t mean they have to always be around us.

If someone behaves this way, he has little to no personal interests, hobbies, or ambitions. Hence, it is a red flag.

Also read: Individuality in Relationships: An Intrapersonal Truth

6. Lastly, be upfront about your expectations towards them:

I know it isn’t good to pressure people over our expectations. However, in this case, we have to be upfront about what we desire from a relationship and how we see things going in the future.

The reason? It would help us understand what our partner thinks about it. If they feel uneasy but willing to travel the road, then we are in a healthy relationship. But if they are terrified about it, then it’s bad news.

Commitment to relationship goals determines an individual’s loyalty. No matter what your expectations are, he will stand by your side. Although, don’t have too high expectations 🙂

Also read: Why Do We Lose Ourselves In Relationships?

Final Words:

To sum up, relationships can be sabotaged if we are not aware of the red flags that prevent us from harm’s way. People fall into these traps and get hurt when their expectations are not met.

The above 6 ways are nothing but precautions we can take. Rest depends on how we deal with our partners in relationships.