It is easy to lose confidence and self-esteem in our worst times. But, we do want to regain these traits, right. So, here are 6 successful hacks to regain confidence and self-esteem. Let’s dive in.
Initially, I wanted to write this article for women who felt lost and depressed in their lives. I intended to help and guide them to a better path towards their goals and ambitions. However, on further analysis, I realized that the problem lies irrespective of gender.
Sensitive men have it just as bad as women and might struggle in the areas of conventional masculinity that favors a flamboyant lifestyle instead of a modest one. Of course, not everyone resonates with the macho-man archetype.
Confidence is the key to get ahead in life, and many people fail to see so due to certain negative experiences. This adversely affects self-esteem and puts us in a negative light concerning ourselves.
One of my female friends suffers from this endless loop of apathy and pain. She has trouble recalling things and has lost the will to act on things. I support her, but this is something she has to deal with it herself.
Confidence and self-esteem go hand in hand with the overall personality of an individual. While confidence is the opposite of shyness, self-esteem acts contrary to self-deprecation. Individual pursuits depend a lot on how we choose to see the multiple sides of a situation.
So, “Why do people lose self-confidence in the first place?”
“What are the hacks to regain confidence and self-esteem?”
Let’s find out.
Why do people lose confidence and self-esteem?
No one is devoid of confidence and self-esteem since birth. We learn a lot of things from life, whether good or bad. Initially, we all go through the same transitions where we are constantly judged by our choices.
Bullying, harassment, gaslighting, and many other forms of mental torcher and abuse make us vulnerable to depression and anxiety. There isn’t a way to tackle these if we are too caught up within our own sphere.
Negative feedback from society which also consists of family and friends is one of the biggest reasons for depression and anxiety. The individual has no choice but to accept and adapt to the demands of those around him.
So, “why do people lose confidence and self-esteem?”
Here are the 3 most important reasons why it happens.
1. Constant hunt for perfectionism:
There are many ways to understand perfectionism. At its best, it is a valuable tool that can help us improve and work on our imperfections. But, perfectionism also demands a lot, especially in present times.
It is easy to hunt for perfectionism when we realize our flaws. However, it takes a lot of effort, patience, and consistency to be perfect. Besides, the standards increase dramatically when a person engages in maladaptive perfectionism.
There is no need to obsess over perfectionism as our perfect self is just a means to inspire ourselves. The most we can do is strive to give our 100%.
Related read: How To Overcome Maladaptive Perfectionism?
2. Desire to prove ourselves to others:
Our society values go-getters and achievers who are willing to do anything it takes to achieve what they want. It is ingrained in our minds to value things that are apparent to us. Proving ourselves is one of those things.
Society might expect us to prove ourselves, but it doesn’t lay out the principles to do that. In the end, all that matters is where we stand in our own eyes. We, of all people, know our skills and abilities. Unfortunately, most people try to show their worth to others.
When our efforts go unappreciated, we enter into a loop of negative self-image and become aversive to confidence and self-esteem.
3. Not embracing our strengths and weaknesses:
This is one of the most common reasons why we quickly lose confidence and self-esteem. Our strengths and weaknesses have a huge role to play in our lives. They are not just valued in careers but also in other parts of life.
When we don’t understand or embrace our strengths and weaknesses, it leads to complications with our life goals and ambitions. We feel useless and pointless in the vast scheme of things. It is important to be aware of what we want to do in our lives.
But, in the end, we focus too much on how we should become like others than to be ourselves. The inauthenticity and ingenuity take the best of us, and we become nothing but a slave of others’ expectations.
So, here were 3 reasons why we lose confidence and self-esteem in our lives.
Now, let us discuss the 6 successful hacks to regain confidence and self-esteem.
How to regain confidence and self-esteem?
Most people with low confidence and self-esteem always doubt themselves. It seems almost impossible to them to regain their lost faith in themselves. To be precise, they usually think they cannot feel confident in their present circumstances.
A great deal of this self-denial goes with the circumstances in which they are in. However, in other cases, circumstances are not to blame.
With self-denial, everything feels conflicting to us. This amplifies when we are under certain circumstances where we take things personally. Ultimately, this leads to lower levels of confidence and self-esteem, and we are trapped in self-doubt.
So, “How should we regain our lost confidence and self-esteem?”
Well, here are 6 successful hacks to regain confidence and self-esteem.
1. Work on your emotions and thoughts:
The first and basic step is to tackle our emotions and thoughts healthily. Now, most people would suggest we suppress our feelings and utilize our thoughts. However, that doesn’t work in the long run. If anything, that makes things complicated.
It is better to work on our emotional states first and understand why do we feel this way? Where did everything go wrong, and how can we improve it? Reflecting on these things saves us a lot of time that, otherwise, goes wasted pondering over useless stuff.
Emotions and thoughts are very much related to each other. Yet, it is impossible to deal with them if we continue to suppress one in pursuit of the other.
2. Try to be more decisive with your position in life:
Our position in life determines the course of the future. But what if we are unaware of our position in life? What if we are unsure and indecisive about our vision? Chances are, we will lose confidence in a matter of time.
To be honest, I am not very decisive myself and have struggled from time to time with the relentless search for evidence as practicality isn’t enough for me. But decisiveness is a really important factor when it comes to our outlook and our vision in life.
No matter how difficult it is, we must find our niche. We must find our spark. Hence, it is vital to be more decisive concerning our position in life to regain our confidence and self-esteem.
3. Understand the benefits of self-expression:
“How many people are actually willing to open up to others about themselves?”
No one. In fact, if we do such a thing, we shall always be at loss. They would exploit us, and we shall always have bitter experiences. But what about opening to ourselves instead of others? Are we genuine and authentic to ourselves in the first place?
This is a big no for most people. They lack the ability to self-reflect and understand their own strengths and limitations. Moreover, they don’t self-express at all as they are afraid to face their weaknesses.
By coming to terms with our limitations we can accept ourselves and be sure of what we want in life.
4. Develop a strong personality with principles and values:
There is a difference between being a stubborn idiot and being an individual of principles. Being a person of value never goes out of fashion. If anything, it is one of the few things every successful person has in life.
Principles and values are refined with time and energy. It demands a great deal of observation and analysis on our part. However, we are certain about the direction we are heading in.
By having firm principles, we can develop a strong personality irrespective of our circumstances. It helps greatly in regaining confidence and self-esteem.
5. Be a part of a strong and well-knit community:
It is important to be a part of a community that values us for who we are. Sometimes, people just want others to change as they are insecure about themselves. This is reflected a lot in their attitude and dissatisfaction.
It is important to be a part of a strong and well-knit community that understands what we have to offer to the table and values us for who we are. Nobody is perfect, and everyone must remember that.
This community provides us a lot of guidance and support in our toughest times. In other words, it is a valuable tool to get in touch with ourselves and regain lost confidence and self-esteem.
6. Lastly, stop proving yourself to others:
Our generation has always valued flamboyant individuals who showcase their abilities to others to gain respect and admiration. The main objective is to be a source of inspiration to others. However, things have changed a lot, and the custom of showcasing abilities is now tarnished.
We have so many people desperately trying to engage in cut-throat competition and devaluing all that makes them individuals. In fact, our fears and insecurities increase in such an environment, and we try to prove ourselves more and more.
Therefore, it is better to stop proving ourselves to others and look for the bright side of the future. In the end, all that matters is how much do we value ourselves.
To sum up, being a part of society comes with its own disadvantages and limitations. Our levels of confidence and self-esteem depend a lot on our interaction with people and what we learn from them. So, there are times where we are confused about ourselves.
Nevertheless, it is important to realize that we can become better by following the above 6 successful hacks to regain confidence and self-esteem.