Do deep thoughts drive everyone away? Here are some eye-opening ways how critical thinking makes you lonely!
Do people call you a deep thinker? Like your friends or loved ones who often like to talk to you.
Why do they call you that?
Because your thinking is important for mainstream society!
Deep or critical thinking benefits people and helps maintain the delicate social fabric. Besides, this trait promotes independence as you march to the beat of your drum!
But this is where its downsides lie – the offbeat approach.
If you’re a critical thinker, you may feel a disconnect with other people when communicating with them. It makes you wonder if this feeling is natural or not.
We ignore the problems with this trait and call it a ‘gift’! Sadly, this gift comes at a cost that isn’t easy to bear – the feelings of loneliness. In other words, you feel an emptiness that bothers you day and night.
Today, we will help you identify the root cause of this issue. So, let’s discuss how critical thinking makes you lonely and isolated!
How Critical Thinking Makes You Lonely
Disclaimer: Before getting into this, let’s get one thing straight! We aren’t targeting anyone with this article; we’re just stating the social pitfalls of critical thinking. Now, let’s proceed!
It’s true! The more you think, the more you stand apart in society. In fact, we can blame your solitary nature for your loneliness.
But that wouldn’t be right! Why?
Because you can still have good and healthy social relationships despite your core nature, remember this famous quote?
“Scenery is fine – but human nature is finer”– John Keats
It justifies who you are, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
However, other ways can instill feelings of loneliness in you. While some of them are easy to deal with, others aren’t. That said, here are ten ways how critical thinking makes you lonely.
1. It Makes You Impatient With Most People
Critical thinking isn’t easy to master. It’s usually an acquired trait that helps you understand your surroundings. As a result, it’s difficult for others to make sense of what you do or how you take in new information. Let’s understand it with an example.
You’re at a lively dance event where people follow the dance steps from films and TV shows. Now, you want to dance too and appreciate how they’re doing it.
But you have something else on your mind!
You think for a minute and then start dancing your heart out. You showcase some unique dance moves with proper balance and rhythm, which is impressive. However, you go out of sync with others who can’t make sense of your moves. Finally, you realize the issue and leave the dance floor with a sad face.
Similarly, when you’re a critical thinker, you try to bring something new to the table. That’s what makes you awesome! But others find it awkward and, worse, off-putting! As a result, you become impatient and try to isolate yourself. This is how critical thinking makes you lonely.
Studies suggest that patience binds and improves interpersonal relationships. This trait also helps people express themselves as they feel heard. And patience works with proper empathy and understanding. You can also follow some tips, such as listening carefully and using gestures to improve this trait in social settings.
2. It Makes Your Thoughts Hard to Handle
Yes, your thoughts can be too much! Critical thinking allows you to dive deep and understand the root of the topic. Sadly, it’s not what people like to do.
Your deep thoughts are like a toolbox to solve logical life issues. They help you break things down into smaller pieces so you can understand them one by one. This is how your critical thinking gets everything running.
But others don’t have this toolbox!
As a result, they think your solutions are difficult to grasp.
They can’t make sense of how you analyzed the problem. While you were solving everything piece by piece, they were busy seeing the bigger picture. This creates a communication barrier, which discourages you from sharing ideas with people. And that’s how critical thinking makes you lonely.
Psychological studies state that people differ in how they understand, process, and communicate their ideas. Two people interacting with each other may discuss the same thing but through different perspectives.
Still, you can bridge this gap by following the situations and accepting different sides of an idea. You can also form deep intellectual bonds and learn new things from others. All you need is openness to new experiences!
3. It Compels You to Have High Standards
We can understand this point better with an example.
Let’s say you’re a gardener who wants to grow a beautiful and unique flower garden. You work hard throughout the day to make your vision come true. Fast forward to four months, and your garden brightens up with colorful petals all around.
But you are dissatisfied. Why?
Because it isn’t how you wanted, you think it falls short of your expectations.
This is what happens when you have high standards. You don’t want to limit yourself to common perspectives as a critical thinker. Instead, you desire to step up your game and explore better ways to look at things. However, reality doesn’t share your expectations. In the end, people are what they are, and you can’t have unreasonable expectations from them.
That’s how critical thinking makes you lonely.
Studies say that having high standards can impact people’s social values. They can’t accept others and try to mold them as they desire. This leads to strained relationships and disappointments.
If you want to get past this situation, you must keep your expectations in check. Besides, you have to take a step to connect with others and understand their life struggles. This helps you become a down-to-earth person!
4. It Limits Your Social Circle to a Few People
Critical thinkers are like bookworms. They like to read and explore various books to gain complete knowledge and awareness. However, they only focus on the technical and intellectual parts and miss out on the social ones. As a result, they remain clueless about social settings.
These ignored parts help people connect. It’s how they share personal experiences. As a critical thinker, you don’t value this experience as much as you should.
You may have people to hang out with. But you aren’t close to them emotionally. They are also deep thinkers like you who don’t like forming emotional relationships. And that’s how critical thinking makes you lonely.
However, you can save yourself from this situation by tapping into your emotional intelligence!
This isn’t just a word of mouth! Research states that this intelligence type is the path to self-awareness and can help you get close to people. The other way to do so is by practicing self-compassion and accepting your emotional self.
You don’t have to be lonely. Try to go beyond just sharing facts and information with your friends. Be open to people and beat the feelings of loneliness. This will help you create a bigger and healthier social circle.
5. It Increases Your Debating Tendencies
Debates are a good way to share opinions. Some good ones can make you very smart and analytical, too.
But is it good to debate all the time? No, it isn’t!
Here’s an example of why.
Let’s say you and your brother are at a dinner party. You’re having fun talking with the hosts and sharing some personal stories while your brother is busy checking out the food. Everything is normal until your brother speaks out.
He points out everything bad with the dinner. He says that the food isn’t seasoned and cooked properly. On top of that, he also suggests that the hosts should have been more sincere while hosting them for the party.
Now, how would the hosts feel? Angry and frustrated, right?
The same thing happens with debates. Sometimes, when you debate with people, you say some critical or inappropriate things that don’t sit well with them.
You think you have only stated the facts before them. As a result, you fail to understand their emotional reactions. Your thinking tendencies make you see one aspect of the situation but skip on the other one. And this is how critical thinking makes you lonely.
Research states that when you try to be a bit aggressive during debates, you can unintentionally hurt people. This can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of your words and notice others’ emotional responses to avoid this situation.
6. It Makes You Too Curious for Your Own Good
Curiosity may not always kill the cat! But it can put you in tricky situations with people. Here’s how!
Let’s say you’re conducting a psychological survey of your friends to understand their opinions on your topic of interest. Throughout the process, you ask some thoughtful questions, which they answer diligently.
But then you get too comfortable and dive deep into their intimate experiences. This bothers them, and they start feeling uneasy to go on with the survey.
Why does this happen?
Because you crossed a personal territory with your questions!
This is exactly what happens when you get too curious. As a critical thinker, you start questioning people in ways that seem inappropriate. You often get overboard with your curiosity. At one point, you fail to consider their emotional privacy and invite trouble. As a result, you drive them away. This is how critical thinking makes you lonely!
Research suggests that highly curious people often get in trouble as they seek even the unpleasant side of human nature. This impacts their social relationships with misunderstandings in the long run.
If you want a good social life, you must balance your curiosity with emotional intelligence! You can do so by trying to be less forceful and more open to others’ experiences, even when they don’t make sense. This helps you know people better.
7. It Doesn’t Let You Seek a Compromise
Nothing works without a compromise. Social relationships define your place in the community, just like personal ones.
For example, when you have lots of money, you can spend it the way you want. Therefore, you decide to take your chances with the real estate market. Your loved ones, on the other hand, want you to spend the resources on building a cozy home.
But you don’t see a point in building one so early. As a result, you ignore their suggestions to invest in the market. This doesn’t sit well with your family. They don’t like how you spend the money recklessly rather than using it for a living space. And this is how your critical thinking makes you lonely once again.
The same thing happens when you don’t compromise in social relationships. You choose to stick with what you think and remain adamant despite the various options. This offends people in the long run, and they leave you to your condition. That’s why you must learn to compromise when dealing with people.
Research also suggests that flexibility and adaptability in social situations can take you far with your relationships. People are willing to take the middle ground when others are also on the same page.
This helps promote peace and harmony in the social circle. If you want people around you, learn to seek a compromise! Otherwise, you’ll end up lonely.
8. It Creates a ‘No Small Talk’ Policy
The ‘no small talk’ policy is one of the most popular trends these days. But do you know how this policy came to be?
It started because deep thinkers wanted to have some meaningful conversations. However, they had to face lots of boring ones on the way, which they couldn’t tolerate anymore. Hence, they came up with this unique policy!
We just made that up, so take it with a grain of salt. However, small talk does stress critical thinkers a lot!
It’s like scuba diving with a group of friends. You are excited to discover the coral reef and beautiful sea creatures. But your friends want to explore the shallow waters and click photos for social media.
It seems frustrating, except it isn’t!
Maybe you’re missing a point. They’re all having a good time because they realize how social media helps them get attention.
The same is the case with small talk. It seems like a waste of time. But that’s not always true. If anything, it bridges the gap between people and draws them closer.
Even research studies suggest that small talk can help form positive relations with people. Small talk also helps people overcome social anxiety. If you’re a lonely critical thinker, you can practice small talk in your conversations. This would surely help you attract all kinds of people and form a good rapport with them.
9. It Makes You Overthink to the Point of Anxiety
Imagine yourself playing chess with your rival. Both of you are putting up a great game. But then your rival takes you by surprise with an unexpected move. He does this to confuse you and take the lead. This makes you overthink the various possibilities with your next move. And you slowly get anxious and overwhelmed.
As a result, you take a wrong call and lose a point. Then, due to the fear of losing the match, you make mistakes one after the other and lose the game itself.
This is a perfect example of why you shouldn’t overthink!
Now, apply the same to your social relationships.
When you start thinking to a fault, you misunderstand various social cues, which makes you anxious. So, you try to do the damage control by mimicking other’s behavior around you.
However, it comes off as fake and rubs people the wrong way in social interactions. Ultimately, they shun you. And that’s how critical thinking makes you lonely.
Various research studies state that overthinking is a barrier to healthy social interactions. Some instances, like dwelling in the past and thinking about the future talks, can stress you out and cause anxiety disorder.
But there’s still hope! You can overcome this situation with meditation and mindfulness exercises. These will help you gain self-awareness and clear your mind from unwanted thoughts. It’s basically an antidote to overthinking!
10. It Turns You Into a Serious and Brooding Person
Critical thinkers often appear reserved and brooding people. If you’re one, you can definitely relate to this feeling. What’s more? You feel like people notice your reactions all the time.
It’s like a group of people cracking jokes. While others laugh and have a good time, you don’t. Instead, you find the jokes odd and sometimes offensive, too.
That’s why you often ask them questions like “Why do you think this way, or what makes you say this?”
This doesn’t sit well with people, and they find you a bit invasive with zero sense of humor. Hence, critical thinking makes you lonely.
And we aren’t making this up! Psychological studies state that most people avoid deep or difficult conversations. While critical thinkers look for the logic or reasoning behind these talks, others choose to ignore it.
To deal with this situation, you can tone down your questioning tendencies by developing your sense of humor. You can watch stand-up comedies online or spend time with quirky and hilarious people. This will definitely help you take things lightly and respond positively!
You can also check out this web story for an interactive and immersive experience.
You Don’t Have to Be Lonely Anymore!
Finally, we have come to the end of the road! Let’s recap on how critical thinking makes you lonely and isolated.
First, we saw you getting impatient with people as they can’t handle your deep and critical thoughts. Then, you talked about your high standards, which helped us realize why you have such a small social circle.
Next, we saw you accidentally offend people with your debating tendencies and cross the limits of curiosity. We also realized that you don’t seek a middle ground and stick to your ‘no small talk’ policy. Then, you start overthinking to escape everyone’s judgment and become anxious. However, they see nothing more than a brooding person stuck in his mind!
Social life is tough and challenging. But you can blend in with people like a social chameleon. How? By following the strategies we discussed above to deal with these ten problems!